Nano
by Chibi Nomad
Summary: An insight into Gippal's thoughts as he turns to face Nooj after he shot Baralai.better than summary. please read.Oneshot.


**A look into the moment where Gippal is about to be shot and Baralai has already fallen.**

**Disclaimer: **** need i say any more?**

**I might make a sequel. Maybe.**

**Nano**

I remember asking you once, about the Farplane. I wondered what it was like, if I'd ever go there, if I'd go anytime soon.

"It is more beautiful than your wildest dreams, and even then, it is a pale comparison." You replied. I didn't ask how you'd seen it, you didn't ask about my past so I didn't ask about yours. I wonder who's gonna break first?

Of course I did. I've never been a very patient person, and too nosy for my own good. We were on the S.S Winno, towards what was to be our last mission as trainees. I wasn't blunt with you, it never worked, I knew if I asked you outright you would clam up and never tell. Night had fallen and there was a chill in the air.

_I Dreamed Of Living, Alone But Fearless,_

You were looking out into the abyss of the sea, you were quiet all the time but it was a different kind of quiet.

"It's scary isn't it?" I ask you, and you jumped a little from the sudden interruption.

"What is?" You ask innocently, as if you could of been thinking of anything else whilst staring at that ocean.

"That Sin could be lurking out there right now, I bet that's why we're travelling at night, cause Sin is sleeping."

I'd never seen a look of such despair cross your face before and I decided you didn't suit it.

"We carry our sins with us wherever we go, true sin never sleeps." Could I ever be that phillisophical? Probably not.

_Secret Longing, To Be Courageous,_

"You're from Bevelle,right?" You nod. That was also obvious, anyone looking at how you dressed could tell you were from that place. I was uncomfortable, and unsure what to ask you next. I wanted to pry, it's in my nature, but I didn't want our squad to feel ununified because of a tiff I started.

"Were you a priest or something?" Now that I look back, that was a little blunt. But it seemed like you were ready to "Spill Your Guts" as the expression goes. I think...I've never been good with Spiran metaphors.

"No, I..." You hesitated, but for good reason. You were about to tell an Al Bhed you were something they hate, the traditions of it decided to just get it over with and wait for my reaction.

" I was an apprentice Summoner"

_Lonliness Kept Bottled Up Inside_

You said it like just mentioning it would bring you death. And I suppose a Summoner and death go hand in hand. My reaction was whas what you expected and more.

" WHAT!?" Nooj and Paine looked over at us when I yelled at you, Paine was probaly dying to record our conversation but I sent a glare that stopped that instantly. Usually I don't glare, but that was serious. A Summoner. You didn't look at Paine, you didn't even look up from the floor.

" I was on my pilgramige when I ran away, the Final Summoning only kept Sin away for a short time. I wanted something that was, perhaps, more permanent." That made a lot of sense. Why sacrifice yourself for something that does'n

t last? A Calm would have been nice, but a permenant Calm would have been legendary.

"But..." And there was that despairing tone again. " If the Crimson Squad fails, and I still live, I will have to continue on my pilgramige with my guardian. And I will die."

"Only your Guardian? Only one?" I couldn't resist. " What about your family?"

"Sin" It was all You needed to say. I didn't mean to sound overconfident but it came out that way anyway.

"And what if we win?" I smirked. At least that got Your shrugged like it was no big deal.

"I'll have to return to Yevon, and repent for my own sins." I didn't like the sound of that, but at least you won't have to anymore.

_Just Reveal Your Brave Face, They'll Never Know You Lied._

You said it all the time and you said it when I asked you if you were okay with returning.

"I'll be alright." It was probably the most solemn time we had spent together. Usually it was always joking and laughing, getting on Nooj's nerves till he called us "Brats!". But that was just an act to hide behind to get away from the death and destruction. If only I'd known it'd be our last heart to heart...

_Country Road May Lead Me Home, Know I Belong There All On My Own_

We were all ready to go our seperate ways. I wanted to return to the desert, to Home. I knew you wanted to continue your pilgramige. I had been wrong, and the Crimson Squad's true purpose had been revealed. We stood at a fork in the road, in the most beautiful sunset.

It was almost perfect. Almost.

_Destiny Calls, Motionless Ice Storm_

We had all shared a dream, and Maester Kinoc ripped it to shreds. We picked up the pieces of our dream to carry with us. We wouldn't be together in body, but forever in spirit. I would send Nooj to a place unknown, Paine too. And We'd send you to your death. Because no amount of pleading, begging in my case, had disuaded you from your goal. You really would have been with us in spirit. In Sin. If Nooj had'nt gotten to you first.

_No I Can't Go, Country Road_

You'd seen the world, but you hadn't really _**seen **_the world. You had never felt the silky sand on the shore of Besaid, or the rush of the crystaline water in Kilika. You'd never see the snow peaked tops of Mt Gagazet. Perhaps if you had went on that pilgramige of yours. But he had ruined all that. I wanted to take you up in an airship, to soar in the endless horizon. Back to Bikanel for a pleasant dig in the sand. But your eyes closed.

_No Matter How Dark The Worlds Inside Me_

You were always an optimist, to Nooj's pessimist. You and me against them. We could always depend

on that, no matter what the situation was. "Perhaps there is hope" you would always say. "Perhaps there is another

way." Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. But now, you can't sat it, surely it won't work this time. It won't. This is the ultimate

dire situation.

_I'll Never Stop To Show A Tear That I Shed._

In the Crimson Squad there was no crying. But we're not in the Crimson Squad anymore are we? I'm an emotional person, always have been. Over-reacting to the slightest thing. Is this something to cry over? Yes, what just happened to you is definatley worth the reaction.

_But Now I Have To Walk So Fast, Running, Sprinting To Forget What Is Lodged In My Head_

My mind screams, Run! But my legs have yet to comply, a thousand thoughts running through my head, my life flashing before my eyes. Run! Get away! Hurry! I want to run, to get away from the danger, but also away from you, lying there, unmoving. I've seen death before, but not dealt by the very hand you have to trust.

_Country Road, May Lead Me Home_

Now I know you're going on a different kind of journey, one where I can't follow you. Our paths may meet eventually, but considering the situation, it may be very soon. I'll join you on that journey. My curiosity will be put to rest. I'll see and hear and touch an unimaginable place. We'll go together.

_Know I Belong There All On My Own_

Panic sets in. I don't want to die. But I don't want to be left here by myself. I don't want you to be alone in that place because you never got a chance to take in what happened. You'll be confused. And a little scared too,maybe. I would be too. Will you wait?

_Destiny Calls, Motionless Ice Storm_

When I look into his eyes there's a fire that wasn't there before. Those dull eyes seeking death look towards something else. My demise. It's fate. It's meant to be. There's no escape.

_No I Can't Go, Country Road_

Goodbye everyone. I'll never see you again. I'll never tinker with anymore machina. Or walk the desert. Converse with the Cactus. Fight fiends. Find true love, if it exists. I can almost hear your optimism now, " Of coure it exists."

_You're A Good Friend, I'll Never Know_

See ya soon 'Lai. Maybe I'll get a chance to know you better now, after all, we're about to have eternity to learn everything.

_Same Tommorow, Regret And Sorrow_

We'll never get to do those things we planned. But we'll go together and figure out the future as it reveals itself.

_No I Can't Go, Country Road_

Then Nooj raised the gun to me.


End file.
